May 12, 2004
defeated
in a mind-boggling display of stupidity, the judges of the 24 hour video race have once again denied us the victory that we so obviously deserved. it was bad enough last year when our short my big fat greek wallace, lost to something called bob 3:13 (seriously, try watching those back to back without crying over the brutal injustice), but the results of this year's competition were on another plane of absurdity altogether.
at last night's screening, they played the videos from eight teams in the college division. we knew the judges would be picking the best three videos to move on to the finals, and when we saw what the competition was like, we were feeling pretty secure.
let me try to do these other seven shorts justice: if you composed seven teams through various combinations of trained animals and retarded children, there's a CHANCE that their movies might be as bad as the ones we saw last night. none of the shorts had any kind of significant story, almost all but a few were poorly shot (and the ones that didn't look like they were shot by helen keller were totally pretentious), the acting was uniformly atrocious, sound was terrible and i'm pretty sure none of the teams used original music. also, several of the shorts ran over the five minute limit and were cut off mid-movie.
a lot of the shorts tried to be funny; no one laughed. a lot of them tried to be serious; they were hilarious.
basically, it seemed like there was no way we could lose. so imagine our surprise when the judges return to announce the winners and we didn't even make the top three out of eight.
i've been trying to imagine how this could happen, and i've come to the same conclusion i did last year: the video association of dallas is really fucking stupid.
anyway, i'm putting the movie we made, "the brat pack in: 'the perfect movie'" online so you can all see how amazing it is. please go to the video section, download it and tell us it's great before we kill ourselves.
posted by joey at 12:57 pm
posted in: news
who can i email to get the 3 minutes and 13 seconds of my life back that i wasted on that bob thing? *le sigh*
BUT the brat pack in the perfect movie is truly top drawer, definitely about 80,000 miles over the heads of the video association of dallas.
Clearly the VA of D is full of it. The judges need to pull that stick out of thier ass before I do.
Your movie is simply too much ahead in time to be fully appreciated (Rob Lowe is still some kind of star...)
Fuck Dallas, it was a stupid show anyway...
i think maybe we were hurt by the fact that nobody knows who chad lowe is?
Fuck 'em dude.
I guess you should've shot it in Black and White.
THAT ALWAYS MEANS IT'S GOOD!
Best Line:
GO AWAY CHAD LOWE!
I guess the judges were mad there was no Robert Downey Jr.
I wish Chad Lowe would be my father, he was awesome in acceptable risk, one of the world greatest made-for-tv movie.
Judging is heavily based on how well the prop, location, dialog, theme are critical to the storyline. (Re-read the purple sheet!) If either the prop or location were ranked 2 "not important" or 1 "superfluous" then the judges are (in bold type) "encouraged to rank videos ... at the bottom of their list" ... the concept is King.
well, i would argue that our theme, location, dialogue and prop were all incorporated well into the story. the videos that won seemed to use all the elements in the least creative way(s) possible.
Did you not read
"the concept is King"?
I mean, it's right there Joey! Come on!
Bob 3:13 is a PERFECT example. I was writing notes as I watched it and followed along.
It's the principle, Joey.
They can't have creative loose cannons.
It's about the techinical form and nothing more.
It was in Black and White! That's an automatic top 5 ranking right there! And here's the kicker... the man WASN'T REALLY DEAD! I didn't see that coming! Surely the judges didn't either! Boom. Moved up to 2. Did I mention it was in black and white? Move it up. #1. Black & White = Good and Not pretentious.
It's that simple, Joey.
It's the concept.
Shine the crown.
frank brings up a good (if almost indecipherable) point. that video that won our division last year barely touched upon the requirements (except for body of water) and the judges had no problems recognizing its brilliance.
>> well, i would argue that our theme, location, dialogue and prop were all incorporated well into the story. ??? Your ladders had nothing to do with your story! they just kept showing up in scenes for no apparent reason. Various brats standing on ladders when they get phone calls; the Lowe bothers in disquise with a ladder; Demi at a playground; all for no particular reason and all not critical to the story ... from How the Video Race Will be Judged (again, with the Purple piece of paper) "Just including the prop is not enough" "Just shooting at the location will not guarantee maximum consideration"
rob lowe was disguised as an electrician! he was changing light bulbs to spy on the brat pack! that's a huge story element. everyone else just had people falling off ladders to file insurance claims or homeless people living under ladders. (wtf was that by the way?)
Dammit, Joey! Read the rules!
Has this person not made themself clear by going out of their way to post on your website about the rules and regulations of the contest and how you have no right to be upset and post your thoughts and complaints on your homepage?
It's the Rules! I for one am grateful someone is here to clearly state the intention of the rules of judging! I would've been completely in the dark.
I attended the 24hr Video Race prelim’s and finals, and all I have to say is, you didn’t loose because the judges are stupid. You lost because your film sucked. That's all there is to it. It was incoherent psycho-dribble. The films by Yedi Again, The Red-Headed Step Children, and Digital Simian contained a certain something that your film lacked: substance. I guess it was your intention to use horrible “acting” (and I use that term very loosely) and stand-ins who look absolutely nothing like their real life counterparts (except for the Anthony Michael Hall guy. He was great) to make up for your lack of plot. You might want to practice your burger-flipping skills, because your team’s film career is going absolutely nowhere. That is all.
congrats to Yedi Again, The Red-Headed Step Children, and Digital Simian! and congrats to you, justin, for coming up with such a "whopper" of a put-down!
Finally someone is telling it like it is. Thanks Justin. After reading your comment, I realized that I am in the wrong industry. My film carreer is going nowhere. So I decided to quit movies/TV in order to concentrate on certain other opportunities. Watch out McDonalds, cause here I come!!!
once i stuck my dick in justin's mouth and filmed it. hows that for substance?
Thank you, justin!
I'm glad someone else had the balls to come to the 15 Minute Show site and tell them that they had no talent. It would've been a waste of time to not do so! I took film class and made a couple of short films. Guess what people, I'm fucking Spielberg. So I have the right to come here and complain about the lack of substance.
Friends, I would like to thank you for taking the time to air your opinions on the films of the 24 hour video race. What you have said has left me with a few questions though. First, I find it hard to believe that every other entry into the futurevision category was made up of trained animals and retarded children. The chances of that actually happening does seem a bit high, don't you think? Secondly, were all the other films reallt that bad? Was your film really the only one worth seeing? Out of all the others? It would seem to me that your statements cannot possibly be true. If you really think about it do you really believe what you wrote?
Thanks again,
Ian
R.H.S.C., second place, Futurevision, 24hr Video Race
2nd place.
The new first.
second place is better than whatever place you jack-asses came in.
yeps. Justin raises a good point. it's hard to argue with my #1 fan.
take it from us, that second place is nothing to scoff at.
joey,
the 15 minute show, second place, 24hr Video Race 2003
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