May 12, 2004


in a mind-boggling display of stupidity, the judges of the 24 hour video race have once again denied us the victory that we so obviously deserved. it was bad enough last year when our short my big fat greek wallace, lost to something called bob 3:13 (seriously, try watching those back to back without crying over the brutal injustice), but the results of this year's competition were on another plane of absurdity altogether.

at last night's screening, they played the videos from eight teams in the college division. we knew the judges would be picking the best three videos to move on to the finals, and when we saw what the competition was like, we were feeling pretty secure.

let me try to do these other seven shorts justice: if you composed seven teams through various combinations of trained animals and retarded children, there's a CHANCE that their movies might be as bad as the ones we saw last night. none of the shorts had any kind of significant story, almost all but a few were poorly shot (and the ones that didn't look like they were shot by helen keller were totally pretentious), the acting was uniformly atrocious, sound was terrible and i'm pretty sure none of the teams used original music. also, several of the shorts ran over the five minute limit and were cut off mid-movie.

a lot of the shorts tried to be funny; no one laughed. a lot of them tried to be serious; they were hilarious.

basically, it seemed like there was no way we could lose. so imagine our surprise when the judges return to announce the winners and we didn't even make the top three out of eight.

i've been trying to imagine how this could happen, and i've come to the same conclusion i did last year: the video association of dallas is really fucking stupid.

anyway, i'm putting the movie we made, "the brat pack in: 'the perfect movie'" online so you can all see how amazing it is. please go to the video section, download it and tell us it's great before we kill ourselves.

posted by joey at 12:57 pm
posted in: news


who can i email to get the 3 minutes and 13 seconds of my life back that i wasted on that bob thing? *le sigh* BUT the brat pack in the perfect movie is truly top drawer, definitely about 80,000 miles over the heads of the video association of dallas.
posted by: alexa on May 12, 2004 04:29 PM

Clearly the VA of D is full of it. The judges need to pull that stick out of thier ass before I do.
posted by: Desiree on May 12, 2004 05:26 PM

Your movie is simply too much ahead in time to be fully appreciated (Rob Lowe is still some kind of star...) Fuck Dallas, it was a stupid show anyway...
posted by: Thomas on May 12, 2004 10:03 PM

i think maybe we were hurt by the fact that nobody knows who chad lowe is?
posted by: joey on May 12, 2004 10:11 PM

Fuck 'em dude. I guess you should've shot it in Black and White. THAT ALWAYS MEANS IT'S GOOD! Best Line: GO AWAY CHAD LOWE! I guess the judges were mad there was no Robert Downey Jr.
posted by: Frank on May 12, 2004 10:24 PM

I wish Chad Lowe would be my father, he was awesome in acceptable risk, one of the world greatest made-for-tv movie.
posted by: Thomas on May 12, 2004 10:32 PM

Judging is heavily based on how well the prop, location, dialog, theme are critical to the storyline. (Re-read the purple sheet!) If either the prop or location were ranked 2 "not important" or 1 "superfluous" then the judges are (in bold type) "encouraged to rank videos ... at the bottom of their list" ... the concept is King.
posted by: some1 on May 13, 2004 12:32 AM

well, i would argue that our theme, location, dialogue and prop were all incorporated well into the story. the videos that won seemed to use all the elements in the least creative way(s) possible.
posted by: joey on May 13, 2004 12:40 AM

Did you not read "the concept is King"? I mean, it's right there Joey! Come on! Bob 3:13 is a PERFECT example. I was writing notes as I watched it and followed along. It's the principle, Joey. They can't have creative loose cannons. It's about the techinical form and nothing more. It was in Black and White! That's an automatic top 5 ranking right there! And here's the kicker... the man WASN'T REALLY DEAD! I didn't see that coming! Surely the judges didn't either! Boom. Moved up to 2. Did I mention it was in black and white? Move it up. #1. Black & White = Good and Not pretentious. It's that simple, Joey. It's the concept. Shine the crown.
posted by: Frank on May 13, 2004 12:58 AM

frank brings up a good (if almost indecipherable) point. that video that won our division last year barely touched upon the requirements (except for body of water) and the judges had no problems recognizing its brilliance.
posted by: joey on May 13, 2004 11:55 AM

>> well, i would argue that our theme, location, dialogue and prop were all incorporated well into the story. ??? Your ladders had nothing to do with your story! they just kept showing up in scenes for no apparent reason. Various brats standing on ladders when they get phone calls; the Lowe bothers in disquise with a ladder; Demi at a playground; all for no particular reason and all not critical to the story ... from How the Video Race Will be Judged (again, with the Purple piece of paper) "Just including the prop is not enough" "Just shooting at the location will not guarantee maximum consideration"
posted by: some1too on May 13, 2004 12:44 PM

rob lowe was disguised as an electrician! he was changing light bulbs to spy on the brat pack! that's a huge story element. everyone else just had people falling off ladders to file insurance claims or homeless people living under ladders. (wtf was that by the way?)
posted by: joey on May 13, 2004 12:52 PM

Dammit, Joey! Read the rules! Has this person not made themself clear by going out of their way to post on your website about the rules and regulations of the contest and how you have no right to be upset and post your thoughts and complaints on your homepage? It's the Rules! I for one am grateful someone is here to clearly state the intention of the rules of judging! I would've been completely in the dark.
posted by: Frank on May 13, 2004 02:06 PM

I attended the 24hr Video Race prelimís and finals, and all I have to say is, you didnít loose because the judges are stupid. You lost because your film sucked. That's all there is to it. It was incoherent psycho-dribble. The films by Yedi Again, The Red-Headed Step Children, and Digital Simian contained a certain something that your film lacked: substance. I guess it was your intention to use horrible ďactingĒ (and I use that term very loosely) and stand-ins who look absolutely nothing like their real life counterparts (except for the Anthony Michael Hall guy. He was great) to make up for your lack of plot. You might want to practice your burger-flipping skills, because your teamís film career is going absolutely nowhere. That is all.
posted by: Justin on May 15, 2004 02:54 PM

congrats to Yedi Again, The Red-Headed Step Children, and Digital Simian! and congrats to you, justin, for coming up with such a "whopper" of a put-down!
posted by: joey on May 15, 2004 03:07 PM

Finally someone is telling it like it is. Thanks Justin. After reading your comment, I realized that I am in the wrong industry. My film carreer is going nowhere. So I decided to quit movies/TV in order to concentrate on certain other opportunities. Watch out McDonalds, cause here I come!!!
posted by: Ben on May 15, 2004 03:17 PM

once i stuck my dick in justin's mouth and filmed it. hows that for substance?
posted by: Guest(w/aQinsteadofaG) on May 15, 2004 06:21 PM

Thank you, justin! I'm glad someone else had the balls to come to the 15 Minute Show site and tell them that they had no talent. It would've been a waste of time to not do so! I took film class and made a couple of short films. Guess what people, I'm fucking Spielberg. So I have the right to come here and complain about the lack of substance.
posted by: Frank on May 16, 2004 02:04 PM

Friends, I would like to thank you for taking the time to air your opinions on the films of the 24 hour video race. What you have said has left me with a few questions though. First, I find it hard to believe that every other entry into the futurevision category was made up of trained animals and retarded children. The chances of that actually happening does seem a bit high, don't you think? Secondly, were all the other films reallt that bad? Was your film really the only one worth seeing? Out of all the others? It would seem to me that your statements cannot possibly be true. If you really think about it do you really believe what you wrote?

Thanks again,
R.H.S.C., second place, Futurevision, 24hr Video Race
posted by: Ian on May 16, 2004 08:26 PM

2nd place. The new first.
posted by: Frank on May 17, 2004 12:49 AM

second place is better than whatever place you jack-asses came in.
posted by: Justin on May 17, 2004 12:08 PM

yeps. Justin raises a good point. it's hard to argue with my #1 fan.
posted by: Mykel on May 17, 2004 01:52 PM

take it from us, that second place is nothing to scoff at.

the 15 minute show, second place, 24hr Video Race 2003
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